As a dark-skin Black immigrant living in the states adding queer to my list of identities comes with both benefits and setbacks. Over the past few weeks, seeing my PALS family share their “why PALS” has led me to heavily consider my role in PALS and my reasoning for coming back every year since 2018. This inevitably led me to ask myself “do you feel accepted when you’re at PALS”? And after much thought, my answer to that would be yes and no.

I feel accepted because anytime I share my thoughts, I am specifically made aware that someone heard me and that it can be a realistic possibility to be considered. I also feel accepted because being a director has allowed me to feel like I can inflict change no matter how small at PALS. Before this position I couldn't find my placement at PALS, things were happening that I wanted to change, like the fact that every camp I attended only had at most 3 other Black people. Now I can do the work needed to directly change that and see it happen before my eyes.

On the flip side, I think imposter syndrome can be to blame for me not feeling accepted. It’s hard to feel like you belong when the pool of people that can relate to you is so small. Not saying I can’t have things in common with a heterosexual white person with a different culture but at first glance, it’s kind of shocking to see so many people that don’t look like me. I always share that PALS was my first experience where I was the minority and that it has taught me so much about myself.

The reality of my life is that it’s very hard to find a place that accepts me with everything I offer. So finding PALS and deciding to become heavily involved has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. Seeing the impact it has on the lives of everyone involved caused me to change my career path and just piqued my interest in fostering relationships between people who might think they have nothing in common.

To completely answer the question I started this post with: I volunteer at PALS because it shows me that there are people in the world willing to take the steps to allow Black queer folks like myself to feel like we belong.